Is Your "Woke Bae" Really All That Woke?

You've probably experienced a date that left you feeling like you traveled back in time. From outdated gender roles to questionable comments, there are definite red flags to watch out for. If your date dismisses important social issues or makes problematic jokes, it might be time to reevaluate. Check out some of the most telling signs at this link and make sure your date aligns with your progressive values.

In today's dating world, being "woke" has become a desirable trait in a partner. We all want to date someone who is socially conscious, politically aware, and actively working to dismantle oppressive systems. However, it's important to remember that not everyone who claims to be "woke" actually lives up to the title. If you're starting to doubt whether the guy you're dating is as woke as he claims to be, here are 15 signs that he might not be the woke bae you thought he was.

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1. He dismisses your experiences as a woman, person of color, or member of the LGBTQ+ community.

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One of the biggest red flags that your partner might not be as woke as he claims is if he dismisses or downplays your experiences as a marginalized person. If he fails to acknowledge the systemic oppression that you face on a daily basis, it's a clear sign that he's not as socially conscious as he claims to be.

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2. He doesn't actively engage in conversations about social justice issues.

Being woke isn't just about saying the right things, it's also about actively engaging in conversations about social justice issues. If your partner avoids these conversations or seems disinterested in learning more about the struggles of marginalized communities, it's a sign that his wokeness might be nothing more than a facade.

3. He only speaks up about social justice issues when it directly affects him.

A true ally is someone who speaks up about social justice issues, even when they don't directly affect them. If your partner only seems to care about social justice issues when they impact him personally, it's a clear sign that his wokeness is self-centered and performative.

4. He uses offensive language or makes insensitive jokes.

Part of being woke is being mindful of the language we use and the jokes we make. If your partner regularly uses offensive language or makes insensitive jokes, it's a sign that he's not as socially conscious as he claims to be.

5. He's defensive when called out on his behavior.

A truly woke person is open to feedback and willing to learn from their mistakes. If your partner becomes defensive or dismissive when you call him out on his behavior, it's a sign that he's not as committed to growth and learning as he should be.

6. He only supports social justice causes when it's convenient for him.

Being woke means standing up for social justice causes even when it's inconvenient or uncomfortable. If your partner only supports these causes when it's convenient for him, it's a sign that his wokeness is shallow and performative.

7. He doesn't make an effort to educate himself about social justice issues.

Being woke requires an ongoing commitment to educating oneself about social justice issues. If your partner doesn't make an effort to educate himself or seems willfully ignorant about these issues, it's a sign that his wokeness is superficial.

8. He doesn't use his privilege to uplift marginalized voices.

A truly woke person uses their privilege to uplift marginalized voices and amplify their experiences. If your partner doesn't use his privilege in this way, it's a sign that his wokeness is more about performing allyship than actually making a difference.

9. He only engages in performative activism.

Performative activism is when someone engages in activism for the purpose of gaining social capital or appearing virtuous, rather than to create meaningful change. If your partner only engages in performative activism, it's a sign that his wokeness is more about appearances than actual impact.

10. He doesn't actively work to dismantle oppressive systems.

Being woke isn't just about acknowledging the existence of oppressive systems, it's also about actively working to dismantle them. If your partner isn't actively engaged in this work, it's a sign that his wokeness is superficial at best.

11. He uses his activism as a way to boost his own ego.

A truly woke person engages in activism for the greater good, not to boost their own ego. If your partner uses his activism as a way to make himself look good or feel virtuous, it's a sign that his wokeness is more about himself than the causes he claims to support.

12. He doesn't listen to or respect your perspective on social justice issues.

Part of being woke is listening to and respecting the perspectives of marginalized communities. If your partner dismisses or invalidates your perspective on social justice issues, it's a sign that his wokeness is performative at best.

13. He only engages in performative allyship.

Performative allyship is when someone claims to be an ally to marginalized communities, but their actions don't align with their words. If your partner only engages in performative allyship, it's a sign that his wokeness is insincere.

14. He only engages in social justice work for personal gain.

A truly woke person engages in social justice work for the greater good, not for personal gain. If your partner only engages in this work for personal gain, it's a sign that his wokeness is more about himself than the causes he claims to support.

15. He doesn't take accountability for his mistakes.

Lastly, a truly woke person takes accountability for their mistakes and actively works to do better. If your partner doesn't take accountability for his mistakes or doesn't strive to do better, it's a sign that his wokeness is insincere.

In conclusion, being woke is about more than just saying the right things or performing allyship. It's about actively engaging in the work of dismantling oppressive systems and amplifying marginalized voices. If your partner exhibits any of these signs, it might be time to reevaluate whether he's truly the woke bae he claims to be. Remember, actions speak louder than words, and true wokeness is about more than just appearances.